Notes For Story (5/20/2013)

There are 2 times in my life when I got really drunk. Both of them I did because I was falling in love; I was confused; and I didn’t know what to do.

The boy I’ve dated didn’t call me for 4 days and I thought he was “lost to follow-up”. I was sick to my stomach because I didn’t want to be the one to call him. At that time, I was still under the illusion that there was a “proper” way to go about “stuff” such as “courtship” (an antiquated word which I hated).

The thing that really bothered me then was I let this boy touch my back. As far as I was concerned, nobody touches me and lives to tell the tale! But I let him, and God knew why!

Was it a matter of him being at the right pace at the right time? At that time, I was restless, bored and depressed at the seeming nothingness  of my life.

Or  was it just him. Because he was The One? The soulmate I had been  dreaming of and writing to since I was 17? (or 12, if you count my early attempts at fiction). Or was he my muse? The projection of all my adolescent fantasies?

… to be continued


My soulmate (I wish!) — Brad pre-Jennifer Aniston/Angelina Jolie in the movie “Legends of the Fall.” I was heartbroken when I learned that he was engaged to Gwyneth Paltrow. Yes, once upon a time, Pepper Potts made it with Benjamin Button.


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