“… at the Senate hearings on the Reproductive Health (RH) Bill, some legislators — all men — expressed their discomfort about the inclusion of the phrase “safe and satisfying sex life” in the RH Bill.
The reasons for their opposition included:
“If we don’t put it there, will it mean that people will no longer have a satisfying sex life?”
“Well, when I make love to my wife, she’s always satisfied.”
Another man, Sen Alan Cayetano (brother of Sen Pia Cayetano, one of the principal authors of the RH Bill) explained, “Before, and even now, there is a belief in some men that it is their right to ‘use’ their wife. So we don’t need to be shy in admitting that we also need to give enjoyment to women. Are men supposed to be the only ones to enjoy?”
The inclusion of the phrase in “a safe, satisfying sex life” is not an addition to the RH Bill made on a whim by advocates and pro-RH legislators.”
What can I say, I love Ana Santos!
A lot of women I see at the clinic do refer to having sex as “ginamit ako” (he used me). It makes me feel exasperated and sad at the same time.
The sad part is I do point out that their bodies are not objects to be used by their husbands, boyfriends or lovers. There is a Tagalog word, “pagtatalik” which I think should be used instead. And then they look at me with blank expressions on their faces.
That made me question myself — considering the violence inherent in these women’s lives, wouldn’t the word “ginamit” sometimes reflect what is real and my insistence in making them use a PC (politically correct) term just a reflection of my bourgeois sentimentality that wants to sanitize everything?
These women, they scrape and scrounge everyday just to put food on the table. Their husbands/lovers as much as they might care for their wives, their women (another un-PC term) are often helpless considering the social and economic conditions that they are in. Words are just words, yes. And no. They are a reflection of what is real or the Truth (whatever that may be), but are they also sometimes like a self-fulfilling prophecy?