Eating Crow

In a world where god is a man, and hence, by definition, holds the monopoly on power, being born female would doom one to a life where the only way to get power is to latch oneself to a male and control him. (It gets worse — for some girls, men are their horcruxes.)

So in behalf of my sisters (and mothers), I therefore issue this apology:

1. To all the men who felt that they were unmanned, castrated, had their balls stamped upon, were defecated on their head (or face or wherever) by the women in their lives ….

2. To the men who were victims of downsizing and who felt that their jobs were usurped by those bitches token females …

3. To the men who lost their erections and who felt that somehow penises that wilt are caused by irate/ exasperated/ tired/ scared/ confused/ terrified/ terrorized/ bullied/ diseased/ postpartum/ antepartum/ pediatric/ geriatric/ unlubricated/ mislubricated/ tortured/ distracted/  (girls, fill in the blanks as you see fit) … vaginas …

4. To the men whose love went unrequited …

5. To the men who had to put up with our nagging, our histrionics, our pretenses, our insecurities, our own lust for power (yes, dear, even we have that) …

6. To the men who honored us to be our friends, boyfriends (ok, even FUBUs), lovers, husbands, persons-in-case-of-emergency, significant others …

7. To the men who shared their sperm with our mothers — the result of which turned out to be this speck of life, however inconsequential …

8. To the men who fed us, clothed us, bathed us, taught us, nurtured us, protected us,  saved us (sometimes even from ourselves), defended us, prayed for us, healed us, changed us, fought our fights for us …

9. To the men who were half-owners of the zygotes we aborted …

10. To the men who are the other half of us.

We. Are. Deeply. Sorry.

In as much as an unimportant, overworked, psychotic, neurotic, defensive over-achiever, bitch, skank, slut, ho, whore, prostitute, quim, freak, virago, siren, medusa … can be sorry. Please. Accept our apology.

We did not mean to cause you pain.

We did not mean to hurt your feelings. Sometimes we did mean to, but please believe us — there were extenuating circumstances.

We did not mean to be females.

It was not our fault. Don’t punish us. Please blame god instead.

As much as we claim to hate you, detest you, want to kill you, maim you, castrate you, emasculate you, out-ball you — those were sometimes just the ramblings of a desperate creature.

The truth is we want you to love us, as much as we love you.

***

Gloria Steinem, 1972. Steinem was named the American Humanist Association's 2012 Humanist of the Year for her activism in feminism and LGBT rights. Picture and info were from Wikipedia

Gloria Steinem, 1972. Steinem was named the American Humanist Association’s 2012 Humanist of the Year for her activism in feminism and LGBT rights. Picture and info were from Wikipedia

From Wikipedia: “On September 3, 2000, at age 66, Steinem married David Bale,father of actor Christian Bale. Steinem and Bale were married for only three years before he died of brain lymphoma on December 30, 2003, at age 62.”

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