The Thing with Orgasms

Yipee!!!

The previous post was my 100th post on this blog!

Being the Narcissistic Bitch that I am, I would like to use this page to congratulate myself.

Congratulations NB! I am giving you the Jeane Napoles Award for all the rainy mornings you spent doing intellectual masturbation while your poor significant-other was asleep.

As I am feeling very pleased with myself, what else is there to think and post about than the big O?

“Someday every woman will have orgasms- like every family has color TV- and we can all get on with the business of life.”  Erica Jong

***

One rainy morning, we listen (“eavesdrop” is the operative word) at Ana and her friends as they talk about what makes life worth living.

Charisse: So Ana, how do you know you’ve had it?

Ana: Had what?

Charisse: (somewhat embarrassed) You know …

Therese: (popping a chocolate covered almond-cherry in  her mouth) You mean orgasms?

Charisse: (scandalized) Lower your voice. (in a whisper) Kinda.

Ana: I know I’ve had it. (secret smile)

Charisse: How?

Therese: (philosophical and wise ala Mother Teresa) When one has had it, she’d know.

Charisse: (wails) How do you know?

Therese: Are you sure you’re asking the correct question?

Ana: What Therese is saying, dear, is you have to have sex first to have one.

Charisse: Oh my, no. I’ve never … (swallows) actually we were like rubbing together the other day … and something sort of like …

Ana: Exploded?

Therese: Burst?

Charisse: I can’t put it that way … but yes maybe …

Ana & Therese: (silent, waiting with baited and prurient breaths)

Charisse: (adjusts her glasses) There was a lot of …

Therese: Liquid!

Charisse: (nods)

Ana: And you felt like you just ran the marathon and won 1st prize?

Charisse: (smiles) You can put it that way.

Therese: Holy moly, girl!  Let’s go and have some drinks! You’re no longer a virgin!

Charisse: But we kept our clothes on!

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