The Thing with Orgasms


The previous post was my 100th post on this blog!

Being the Narcissistic Bitch that I am, I would like to use this page to congratulate myself.

Congratulations NB! I am giving you the Jeane Napoles Award for all the rainy mornings you spent doing intellectual masturbation while your poor significant-other was asleep.

As I am feeling very pleased with myself, what else is there to think and post about than the big O?

“Someday every woman will have orgasms- like every family has color TV- and we can all get on with the business of life.”  Erica Jong


One rainy morning, we listen (“eavesdrop” is the operative word) at Ana and her friends as they talk about what makes life worth living.

Charisse: So Ana, how do you know you’ve had it?

Ana: Had what?

Charisse: (somewhat embarrassed) You know …

Therese: (popping a chocolate covered almond-cherry in  her mouth) You mean orgasms?

Charisse: (scandalized) Lower your voice. (in a whisper) Kinda.

Ana: I know I’ve had it. (secret smile)

Charisse: How?

Therese: (philosophical and wise ala Mother Teresa) When one has had it, she’d know.

Charisse: (wails) How do you know?

Therese: Are you sure you’re asking the correct question?

Ana: What Therese is saying, dear, is you have to have sex first to have one.

Charisse: Oh my, no. I’ve never … (swallows) actually we were like rubbing together the other day … and something sort of like …

Ana: Exploded?

Therese: Burst?

Charisse: I can’t put it that way … but yes maybe …

Ana & Therese: (silent, waiting with baited and prurient breaths)

Charisse: (adjusts her glasses) There was a lot of …

Therese: Liquid!

Charisse: (nods)

Ana: And you felt like you just ran the marathon and won 1st prize?

Charisse: (smiles) You can put it that way.

Therese: Holy moly, girl!  Let’s go and have some drinks! You’re no longer a virgin!

Charisse: But we kept our clothes on!


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