Notes About “Falling”

Really, sometimes it can be nothing special. Like one day, you go along when someone asks you to go out, and you have nothing to do, so you agree.

basta driver sweet lover

What will trigger it may be something as mundane as a wicked sign on a jeepney, or a teenaged couple doing PDA in the middle of a busy street (get an effing room, you said under your breath; which for some reason amused him so much);

PDA -- "public display of affection" . Image from

PDA — “public display of affection” . Image from


… or a stray dog crossing the road (a comment he made on that would segue into a story about his favorite dog when he was a boy).my dog

When you were younger, you thought it came with violins and hearts and flowers. And thunder and lightning and rainbows. And they did say (whoever they were, you never could figure out the identity of “they”) that it would be like walking on air, sublime happiness.

You can’t really relate with the idea of sublime happiness. Marginally comfortable is just fine with you.

Hiking -- something to get over an other humdrum Saturdat morning

Hiking — something to get over an otherwise humdrum Saturday morning. You did protest and said that you don’t do nature stuff. And he said that there’s a first time for everything.

But then, when he started striding into your life as if he owned it, you started to question the stuff that you were comfortable with. He asked you:  why not go mountain hiking because you spend so much time indoors that you lack vitamin D. Instead of saying, I can buy supplements at GNC thank you very much, you said “okay”.

Why is that you wonder?

And then he said that he liked it when you wore your hair long and free from confining ponytails behind your back, you actually blushed!

Remember when you were suspicious of people who gave you compliments? Now you have actually forgotten your scrunchies and have started the habit of blow-drying your hair!

And then when he started hovering around you almost everyday, you did not tell him to go home and stop making a “tambayan” out of your apartment. You served him iced tea and at one time even cooked pasta.

The problem with giving people an inch of yourself is that they would eventually ask for the whole package and you would be too polite to be selfish.

…. Or you would be charmed because they asked so nicely.

The problem with sublime happiness is that it can creep up on you like a burglar. And steal all your furniture.

You wake up from sleep and all that you thought you owned (including your heart) was no longer yours.falling in love



  1. […] “I love you,” she said when she reached him. “I don’t know why I couldn’t say that before. I really wanted to. When you left. Well even before that, actually. It just felt … weird and stupid. What is love anyway? It’s just a chemical reaction, right? Like endorphins and serotonin playing havoc in our hypothalamus. Even if I say that … what’s the difference if I say that or not? What will be the point?  I don’t even know why I’m here. It’s not as if you can’t come back to Manila in a few days as you said. I am just being weird and stupid and …” […]


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