8 years (or so) ago …
Jonas never swears.
Between him and Alice, she is the one more prone to spewing out gutter words and expletives when she is angry or frustrated. That day, though, his sentences are liberally peppered with the p-word and other creative adjectives that leaves Alice in open-mouthed amazement.
“Who are you? And what have you done to my boyfriend?”
The word “boyfriend” still makes Alice queasy; but not as much as before. There are times when she is comfortable and even pleased when hearing it coming from her voice.
Jonas regards Alice; and when he answered, he sounds calmer and leveled.
“Those ass-kissing, donkey-headed, fruitcake retards in congress have shot it down!”
“That bill you were lobbying to make that forest a protected area?”
Jonas nods. “Congressman Bautista is a pretentious, slime-y, small-balled, prick-brained ….”
He seems at a loss for the best insult to use, so Alice chimes in, “poop-eating goatfucker?”
Jonas smiles at Alice. “That’s just right on, honey. Thank you.”
“We aim to please,” Alice replies, glad to be of help in another human being’s hour of need.
However, she is not sure if this giddiness she feels is due to the gin cocktail she just consumed.
Or because Jonas just called her “honey.”
“If I kiss you, would it make it all feel better?”
Did she just say that?
Yes, she most definitely did. That wide, self-satisfied grin on his face is evidence that she did.
“Kiss me where?”
“On the lip, you dolt! Why? What did you think?”
Dramatic sigh. “I thought that tonight I am going get lucky. Remind me to ply you with alcohol more often.”
Then he kissed her. It lasted for 60 seconds (more or less); and involved lips, tongue, teeth, hands, and bodily fluids.
It left Alice dazed and disoriented.
Her opportunistic rascal of a “boyfriend” has the gall to tease her afterwards: “You are getting better at this, Alice. Have you been practicing?”
Now she can’t very well let that pass without a scathing reply, can she?
“No practice. Just a natural inborn talent. Unlike some people who just had to make so much effort.” She managed (and succeeded) to raise one eyebrow at him, not an easy feat. “Are you impressed?”
Jonas laughs. “Very much so.” And they continued where they left off.